KEY SCRIPTURE
- Matthew 18:15
- “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
- Ephesians 4:15
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
- 1 John 4:18
START TALKING
- What is something that brought you joy, delight, or unexpected happiness this week?
START SHARING
- One way we end up in conflict is because we feel that we have to choose either truth and honesty (and one end of the spectrum) or love and the relationship. Why do you think it’s hard to find the balance of truth in love (Eph. 4:15)?
- Which end of that spectrum do you most naturally gravitate toward? Are you know as a person who speaks hard truth without love or the person who’s more likely to avoid conflict and aim only at preserving the relationship?
- “Find the most generous explanation.” Can you think of a recent instance where you missed out on a chance to assume the best about someone else? How about when you wish someone else would have assumed the best about you?
- “Treat people closest to you like perfect strangers.” Can you identify the “family voice” from your current family or from when you were growing up? Why is it that we develop this tendency to treat those close with brashness? How do you think you can become more aware of when you fall into this trap?
- “Content versus conditions.” Matt pointed out that in the middle of conflict, we end up focusing on the specific words and actions of the other person, when really it’s more helpful to understand the condition of your interaction. What do you think would help you become more aware of the condition of your conversation, rather than fixating on the specific words?
START LIVING
- “People don’t get defensive because of what you are saying. It’s because they don’t feel safe.” 1 John 4:18 says that perfect love casts out fear. How do you see yourself communicating to others that you are a safe person to have honest conversation with? How can you more clearly communicate the kind of love that drives out fear and creates healthy relationships?
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, et al.
- Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud
WORSHIP SET
- This is Amazing Love
- Future Past
- All Things New
